Funny Real Estate Translations

I've written my share of flowery descriptions for properties and often have to laugh at some of the creative euphemisms agents use to describe their properties. Even though I've shared a lot of them with you already, here are a few more from Scott Levitt:

Cathedral ceilings: Better get a loan for your heating bill. Might be cheaper to burn your furniture to stay warm.

Close to schools: You will spend big chunks of your morning and evening commute stuck behind buses and crawling through school zones.

Commuter's dream: Built conveniently at the bottom of an off-ramp next to a truck stop.

Daring design: Hope you want to live in a warehouse.

Efficiently designed kitchen: The kitchen is big enough for one person unless you want to open the stove. If you do, back into the living room.

Lots of storage space: Good luck making the basement a family room.

Meticulously maintained, original condition: Hope you like 50-year-old avocado appliances!

Pet-friendly neighborhood: Be sure to buy a pooper-scooper when you move in, even if you don't own a dog.

Walking distance to (X): Good luck finding parking in this neighborhood!